“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” – Brene Brown
Go back to the last time you had coffee with a friend, dinner with a group of people, or even a long walk with a potential someone – what were the hot topics of the conversation? Most of the time any type of ‘more than surface‘ conversations typically revolve around three things – the past, the present, or the future.
And by now you’re rolling your eyes assuming where I’m going with this – but don’t let you drawers get in a tangle, because I don’t think you do.
The past and the present are ones talked about in the beginning, setting the stage for the final minutes (or if you’re female, sometimes hours) of conversation. The past has it’s place because it lets others know where we’ve been and why we are the way we are. Though we never want it to define us, it does in fact affect who they see across from them in the present.
The present gives light to where we are now. Our joys, our hurts, our struggles and our victories. Where we feel we’re winning at life and where we feel we might drown. There really are no boundaries for this part of the discussion, because let’s face it there are no boundaries for the present. It shifts and changes faster than we can figure it out and catches us off guard in more ways than we can count. This part though, is interesting – because after the venting, sometimes complaining, and hopefully giving thanks for where we’re at, this part always leads to that long bit of deep thinking, a bit of silence and if you’re charismatic – maybe some humming or sighs of realizing someone else just joined your party.
And this is where I want us to nestle in for the remainder of this blog. I want us to sit here, in between that summarizing sentence of everything happening in our present and the following account of what we are currently desiring, dreaming, hoping, expecting, and praying for to come in our future.
And it’s in this moment we’re all the same.
Not in the descriptions of the things that follow, but in the foundational realization that we’re all waiting.
waiting; the action of staying where one is or delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens.
For the first weeks of January every year, I delete social accounts from my phone and I just take a break for a bit. I use this time to recalibrate. To get right the things that need to be prioritized. And in these weeks, I noticed the above, which might not be so fascinating yet – but again, I’m not done.
Though we’re all waiting, we’re all ‘staying where one is’…alone (
or at least we think so). We’re all desiring, dreaming, hoping, expecting, and praying by ourselves. And this is where the bitterness grows. This is where the comparison develops.
Because we look at others’ lives and think they’re ‘waiting’ season is over when a milestone is announced on social media or a bouquet is tossed at a reception. Why do we think this? Because we believe that when others get what we’re waiting on, they’re done with waiting.
And there it is, folks. The icing on the cake, the middle of an Oreo.
Because we believe that when OTHERS get what WE’RE waiting on, they’re done with waiting. That they’ve crossed the finish line. That that thing we’re waiting on and they are now relishing in, is the end.
And though, if we all take time to think this through – we’d realize this is utter nonsense; as if this shouldn’t even be an issue, because oh yes, of course – they’re only waiting season is this ONE dream they’ve just seen come to pass. But, you see – in the middle of the waiting, nonsense is more to hold onto than the unknown.
We can’t stand the unknown. So we hold onto nonsense that leads to discontentment, bitterness, and jealousy/comparison. And we end up missing out on the middle part I talked about up there called the present, that eventually becomes our past before we know it.
And that’s why I’m writing this blog. I’m tired of learning while looking back. I want to learn before I look forward. I want where I’m at now to not be consumed looking at where anyone else is at or what they have, and compare to what I’m waiting for.
And I’m guessing (and hoping) by now, you’d like the same.
The fact is we’re all waiting for something, someone, some job, some move, some miracle and the list goes on. But in it all, the sigh of relief that comes when you realize you’re not alone holds so much power in where you’re at now.
This sigh I believe is contentment. And I know, I know – THAT word. But yes, I”m using it.
contentment; a state of happiness and satisfaction.
You see that? Waiting is an action – contentment is a state of being. While we’re actively living in the present and expecting what is to come, our attitude shouldn’t be bitterness or jealousy – but satisfaction.
And you may be reading this thinking that it’s so easy for her to say, but she doesn’t know x, y, or z. And you’re right – I don’t know what you’re waiting on nor how long you’ve been waiting. But I do know God does. And I do know that each minute of this season is intentionally and perfectly mapped out.
Because that’s what I know is true for me. There are so many dreams I have, some I gave up on in 2016 that God – in His great mercy and unbelievable patience for yours truly – has redeemed in the past few weeks. Some I don’t know when or if they will ever come true the way I foresee. Because that’s the thing – I can’t see. I don’t know what job I’ll need in 10 years to take care of the family I might or might not have to be able to love the man that may or may not yet have come to be able to fulfill the destiny that I believe God has called me to. The fact is, this isn’t just me – this is us.
And though you can look at this situation and become overwhelmed at its immensity at times, when you realize why God ordained life the way it is – past, present, and future – you can garner some peace. Because at one point – you were waiting to be where you are now. Maybe not exactly where you are now – but think about it, the same God who brought you here will bring you there.
And until then, grab a cup of coffee with a friend, go have dinner with a group, or a long walk with a potential someone and when that moment of transition comes to discuss what you’re desiring, dreaming, hoping, expecting, and praying to come – I pray you smile and be encouraged in the smirk of satisfaction across from you as they respond, “I get it.”
your fellow woman in waiting