chasing the wind

{precursor – this blog ministered to me more than any blog ever has. God showed up and spoke to me while writing in ways I really needed. so I pray – the Holy Spirit meets you where you are and shows you the same love and grace that was shown to me. He loves us, friends – no matter what.}

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i thought it would be easier by now? somehow. i thought i would have figured out how to do this…and by “this,” I mean, life. 

i thought i would have learned to stop going for a second to trust in the One who has gone before me. but throughout the last month, if i’ve learned anything it’s this – i don’t have anything figured out.

i started a new job and it was like in an instant, my whole life changed. although now that i look back, things had changed months and months prior – however, it took this transition for me to truly see what God had been trying to show me.

i was chasing so many things that weren’t of Him any longer, or some of them – ever.

i’m 27 so these days, i find myself saying goodbye a little bit more than i am saying hello. friendships becoming more distant. work-life balance becoming harder to manage. loneliness becoming a more common emotion and comparison and resentment becoming attitudes i’m having to repent of more frequently.

but the thing is, like previously hinted, i never really thought i would still be here.

Photography by: Katie Faith Photography
Photography by: Katie Faith Photography

thus, this blog isn’t meant to be some quick fix to finding contentment or a blog where you walk away inspired to do great things. this blog’s purpose is simply to share with you the one lesson that I believe will be something that never changes – though everything in my life continues to do so.

And that’s His presence. 

we’re all running and (as the blog title states) chasing the wind. we’re trying so hard to attain something that will never be attained this side of heaven. we were built with a longing for something greater, lovelier, and grander than where we are now within us; but when God built us that way it wasn’t so we would draw discontent with people, or jobs, or even certain seasons – it would be that we would be discontent with the things of this world.

but in fact, for many of us, it has been the opposite.

we try to find a person, a trip or a cruise, an Instagram following, a job, a gym or a shopping spree, a Netflix show or another bible study even to be the thing that “fixes” our discontentment. Yet none of those ever end in true satisfaction, because anything that isn’t Him…is the wind.

“Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and I had to toiled to achieve – everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 2:11

i read this verse today and literally felt like two words jumped off the page…

toiled & achieve

we’re toiling, friends? don’t you feel it. we’re all exhausted from trying to…achieve. we want it all. we want the American dream, we want the ‘Christian Fame,’ we want the 5 kids and the one adopted one, we want the debt-free life, but still want the $500K home. it’s a never-ending cycle of chasing to still end up chasing again. 

and i hate it. 

so if you’re still with me, because i admit this is not one of the most ‘sunshiney‘ blogs i’ve ever written – i want you to know something – though i hate it, i still see Jesus in it.

i see that even though he KNEW we would be men and women who sometimes chase the satisfactions of our flesh (the wind), he still came to save us. he still rose to redeem us. he still, get this…chases US.

so as we chase things that he knows isn’t good for us in that season (or sometimes ever), anytime we realize what we are doing and stop (just for a moment) there He is. He’s there, ready to romance us back to the only place of joy and contentment we will find this side of eternity.

His presence.

so my dear friends, i urge you – stop chasing, just for a moment, because our Kinsman Redeemer is trying to catch up to you. He’s chasing and pursuing you to see, to taste, and to fully know that your identity will never be found in anything you are ‘toiling to achieve,‘ yet, your identity is truly already set in Him.

“I have found a desire within myself that no experience in this world can satisfy; the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” C.S. Lewis 

and this morning that is what i had to do. stop and realize how much my toiling to achieve had exhausted not only me physically, but me spiritually. i had gotten so consumed with trying to figure out what is next, what is now supposed to look like, and even trying to still ask a few why’s of my past that i wasn’t even enjoying anything anymore – i was simply toiling to achieve.

and what i was trying to achieve was really anything – but more so, freedom from something…fear.

as a dear friend pointed out today, fear is rooted in the simple fact that i don’t trust God fully to take care of me when and how and in whatever way He sees is best.

and my friends, that’s where God brought all of this full circle. we’re all chasing and toiling to achieve because somehow, we’re all scared we won’t be ______, we won’t have ______, or we won’t ever get ______.

and the fact is, if our motive is what we will attain this side of heaven – that fear will always be there. but if we redirect our focus and our perspective that everything this side of heaven is meaningless, maybe we won’t chase it so hard? maybe, just maybe, we’ll learn to take each day as it comes and stop trying to chase what we don’t even need anyways. and then maybe, our constant driver won’t be fear that we won’t, but maybe joy that we already have it. 

and maybe, just maybe, the next time someone asks us how we are, our answer will be filled with more present joy than constant exhaustion. maybe we’ll put down our phones from trying to connect outside, to connect internally with ourselves, a close friend, or more importantly – the One in which our heart longs for the most. and in all of that, no matter if we’re 21, 27, or 45 – we’ll be able to stop chasing – to finally…receive.

wow, that’s it. receive it, my friends. because that’s what i just did.

xoxo

jess

 

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