i think we all go through this spiral of emotions when we experience any kind of transition, tragedy, milestone, or seasons of unknowns.
for the past three weeks, this has been my day in and day out. somedays waking up believing and ending the day broken. or somedays waking up broken, and ending it believing.
i’ve never wanted to be someone to pretend to have it all together. i’ve never wanted to be someone who was trying to ‘just make it‘ – but can i be honest with you? that’s where i’m at today. i’m at a place of trying to find my way – feeling like i might be crawling there – from a broken place to a believing place.
when i was spending some time with Jesus today, he took me to two people in the bible – ruth & soloman.
ruth was a woman defined by perseverance, selflessness, and loyalty.
soloman was a man (boy) defined by wisdom, character, and humility.
they both are known for these things, however their journeys were met with just as much brokenness as it was believing.
i’m in a season of having to make a lot of decisions and more than anything, discern God’s good and perfect will for my life. (romans 12:2) which makes sense why God would point me in the direction of soloman, because boy do i need some discernment. and ruth, well I kinda need a lot more perseverance these days. so that makes sense, too.
but everyday i’m balancing between the lie that I should just give up and the fight to keep going. the lie that I should believe what people have said or choose to trust in what God says. it’s a daily battle to choose not to believe that even though i feel broken, God’s will for my life isn’t.
can you relate?
he truly is making a way. i know that. but what i also know is that too many of us christians pretend and act like we have it all together. when in reality, there are times when we’re all just fighting the same thing – choosing to believe despite feeling broken.
so i write this blog for you and i today and more so, as a milestone of sorts for the future. so when God comes through – because I know He will – i can look back and see that God honored and was faithful to his word.
“And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10
“God is not unjust, he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.” Hebrews 6:10
i pray wherever you are – no matter how broken you may feel, that you would continue to believe in the character and faithfulness of God, even if you can’t see His hands or understand His ways. because just like ruth and just like soloman – God does come through and he does make a way, He just likes to do it in His timing. (i know, sucks sometimes. it’s okay to tell Him that too – I sure do.)
“Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!”
Hebrews 12:1-3 MSG
with you in the race,