my country music prayer

i don’t know why I love country music so much. i really don’t. i did grow up in west Texas and it seems that over the years my accent has become thicker, which I can”t really explain – but nonetheless, i love country music. something about it makes my heart skip a beat – literally. i love to two step, 1/2 step, really – any kind of step. but something about being spun in a circle around a dance floor is so moving and exhilarating to me. i guess it is the ‘texas in me,’ but for the past 10 years, it has never gone away.

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and as Valentine’s Day approaches, i find it harder and harder to not turn on a playlist on YouTube of my favorite country music love songs. you know the ones most people hate and skip over? yeah, those. those are my favorite. they’re the ones that remind me of that “heart skipping” moment right in the middle of a dance, when for a moment – country music becomes a sort of opening to pray for my marriage.

i know it’s crazy, but there are many a times a random gentleman will be swingin’ me around the dance floor, but all i can think about is the one day when i’ll just have one set of arms to hold me and dance. (okay, corny on fleek right about…now.)

but for me, to sound as romantic as that – it’s taken a lot, and i mean a whole lot of healing, growth, and more than anything – surrender. though many say chick flicks and country music gives romance a high standard, for me – it wasn’t even a standard for me growing up – it was just something that made me feel something i couldn’t really explain. and for years i wrote it off. i told myself and even others that i didn’t want to be married and that ‘marriage just wasn’t for me.’

and then Jesus got a hold of me and over the past three years has shown me how to heal from past hurts that had become fears, why He’s called me specifically to marriage and the reason for marriage in general, and mostly – how to surrender the ideas of who i thought i needed and when i thought i needed him, up to God. (sound familiar?)

it’s been a whirlwind of a good time, let me tell you. but you know what? i’ve never been more thankful for it. all of it. the process to find out for myself (with God, of course) on why He has destined me to get married and more than anything, how wonderful it will be when he shows up and i don’t have to pull myself together; but yet, i’ll walk into the relationship more whole than i’ve ever been.

one of my all-time favorite songs is ‘keeper of the stars’ by Tracy Byrd. it’s an oldy, but a goodie. it was once a dream of mine to have this be my first dance at my wedding – but since has just become a song i love to play when i feel impatient or in need of a reminder that God is in control. it’s a country song, but it’s also a reminder that God has my husband and my future in His hands, and since He can keep the stars – I’m pretty sure He can take care of me and my future beau.

so, why tell you all of this? well, maybe you’re single like me and this week/end you find yourself doubting God’s timing or maybe even, losing hope in His promise all-together of a spouse. Or maybe you’re dating and you find yourself confused on whether or not you are or are not supposed to be dating him, and you needed to be reminded who’s in control. Or maybe, you’re married and you needed to read a blog from a single gal like me to be reminded of the longing that you once yourself had for the man you now have.

sometimes, it’s those reminders  that can make an immediate difference  in your life.

i don’t know where you are, but i do know that just as God formed us in our mothers’ womb and even now knows the number of hairs on our head, may we trust that His plan is in process and the arrival of our spouse – and/or another promise we are waiting on – though it feels delayed, is right on time.

and in the meantime, turn on some old country music, close your eyes, and let the romance of this ongoing love story sweep you off your feet. and then grab a group of girls, go out dancing, and enjoy the moments you have before you – and trust that ones to come will be great and will be better than any country song you’ve ever heard.

xoxo

happy valentine’s day, friends.

jess

p.s. i’m also sure that country music and two stepping will be in heaven. just a final note for free.

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