When I think of getting married. I think of a lot of things. I think of grocery shopping, and calling him on my way home from work. I think of sharing a meal at Cheesecake Factory and what it will feel like to say “babe” for the first time – or even more so, to answer to it. I think of the day when I get so angry at him – but in the same moment realize I could never be that angry at anyone else for the rest of my life. When my love for him meets my willingness to lay down my own annoying tendencies. When I realize that he’s not here because he has to be – but because he genuinely couldn’t fathom being anywhere else than by my side.
It’s a while away, but yet I think of him sitting next to me and us holding hands for the first time. I think of the way he will look at me – and from what I’ve been praying – that from the bottom of my feet to the inner-most parts of my heart, I feel it. I know. The one whom my heart has waited to love, to respond, to let in, to hold onto – has finally come.
It will be a day like no other. But it’s not today. And this blog has nothing to do with my future love – or does it? No, not really at all.
Today I sit on my couch in my beautiful, quaint one-bedroom apartment smiling whilst peeling a Cutie orange. It’s not a day that normally comes – where my schedule leaves time to just write down the thoughts in my heart. But you see, the rain outside, that will most likely be followed by snow and ice, forces my outgoing, overly scheduling personality to stop, rest, and just be. And you know what? I love it. I love that I sit and think and that as my fingers tap on this keyboard – processing naturally happens. To write is to feel. And for me feeling comes through writing. I find myself when I write. I find the romantic part of me that gets lost in the chaos in life through writing. I find a heart for words that fully expresses what my mouth, my body, and my mind sometimes cannot collaborate together to say properly. Like a metaphor that just came to me about lemons. Yeah, lemons. Let’s just go with it.
You see, when life hands you a bunch of lemons – the first response is never lemonade. Its more – “let me check my hand for any cuts or wounds where this might hurt.” We don’t expect something sweet to come out of the unknown. When lemons are handed to us – their purpose is strictly undecided. They can be used to add something little – but bold – to sweet tea. Or be used for flavoring in a pound cake that I personally, would never consume. Or can be used all together to make a refreshing summer beverage. But yet, when you first receive the lemons – their purpose is undecided. Most like moments and circumstances in this life – we have a choice on how we will use them. We can take the lemons and let them sit, and think – “oh, I’ll get to those when summer comes.” Or – we realize we don’t have to wait. We realize that those same lemons – though they may be useful later on, also in another season – are just as useful in this one.
That’s the beauty of metaphors. You can relate to them – all of us, differently. However you need to receive it. It’s for you to interpret. Whether you’re the lemon being put into a position where you don’t know exactly how God will use you – or you are receiving lemons and in the past, you’ve chosen to let them sit, but now instead you see God showing you how they have a purpose in this season also. Or maybe you’re drinking the lemonade. You’re recalling the lemons and the choice you made to make lemonade instead of watching another season go by wondering when those lemons would be used. You’re seeing that the lemons, though at first were a picture of change and transition – were in fact God’s refreshing beverage of provision to live for today – and not wait for the next summer to come.
Everything God gives us is for a reason, you may not see it right away – but it is. Like today, a day where I sit and randomly reminisce about marriage and companionship – and then banter away about lemons – it had its purpose. I see the lemons – and you know what, lemonade sounds good right about now. What about you?