Mom

You asked me to write you something for your birthday and though that’s still a month away – it seemed like I could get a head start.

As I sit here beside you and watch you sleep after a couple days of ice chips, cutting up apples, and helping you walk and stand and sit – I can’t help but write to you. It’s all the things I wish I could say right now, but for now – can only muster enough strength to type.mom5

I’ve started another writing project for you – that is much longer, and in chapter form – but for now, this will have to do.

Yesterday you had a surgery that not many women could ever imagine while also fighting a disease that many women all over the country have to face. The choice to sacrifice a part of your womanhood so that you may live – it’s a bravery that I cannot fathom.

And in it all – you came out stronger and more beautiful than you could imagine. You wouldn’t say so – but you do. You see, if I’ve learned anything from you its that beauty is not surface deep. It’s something – that as the 8th grader unable to fit in ANY formal dress at JCPenney – I didn’t enjoy hearing. But now – 10 years later, I see it as the seed and foundation to who I am today. You always have been planting seeds. seeds of love, truth, compassion, kindness, hope, and pure strength. And that’s what I want to write to you today. I don’t know how you keep going. How day after day, trial after trial – you keep the faith, you run your race, and you never give up. Your perseverance is one that proves to every single person you meet – that there is a God and He is alive in each of us. Even in the midst of your weakness – you show strength. You can’t do much right now – but even in this, you teach me what Jesus calls each of us to do. Do what we can, then let others come around us and help lift us up. There is such a strength in asking for help – and then receiving it.

Mom, you are the hero in my life and for all of my days I will love you with a love that I don’t even think I fully grasp. I want you to picture the largest waterfall. Yes, the ones where the water crashes so hard at the bottom and you can’t help but get soaked, hear the sounds, and then fully understand the power of it all. This is a picture of you, mother. Wherever you go, you don’t just make a splash – you soak and you leave sounds behind you. A little water can wash away – but a lot of water can change the landscape. This is you – you completely change the landscape of the hearts of the people you touch.

“But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth.” 1 Timothy 4:17

The strength you have within you is that specifically gifted by the hand of God Himself. He has woven inside of you a strength that has combatted more attacks of the enemy that any human being I have ever met. And you never give up – you keep going. You persevere, you hope, you love, and you still dream.

Mom, you’re a fighter. A warrior. And you’re my mom.

“You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” – Psalm 32:7

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“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’” -Psalm 91:1-2

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“fear not, for I am with you;  be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
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I love you to the moon and back – and each and everyday I thank God that He loved me enough over 26 years ago to bless me with you as a Mom. No matter what may come – may His right hand uphold us, may our love for each other carry us, and may His strength empower us to face whatever may come.

All my love,

Jessica Marie

 

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