It’s officially the holidays and it’s officially cold and possible precipitation is supposedly going to fall in the form of snowflakes in the next 24 hours – which bears the necessary posts concerning all my single ladies out there. And I’m babysitting, so what else am I going to do.
Already caught up on Grey’s.
Yes, though I do my best not to ever just address the single ladies – this one is the exception to that rule.
There is nothing about holidays that is not romantic.
All of it is. And we can thank Hollywood for a lot of it. And the Hallmark Channel. Yes, thank you, Hallmark.
So, to benefit all my single ladies, I have put a list together just, for us. It’s 12 Holiday Tips for Single Ladies. And yes, I picked 12 because, duh, it’s the rule of thumb if you write, post, or do anything in sequences during the holidays – it’s always in 12’s.
1. It is okay to WANT to be with someone. It’s not okay to think you NEED to be.
This one is #1, because its crucial. Many people (mainly extreme feminist) will tell you to suck it up, work overtime, or eat more fruit cake. But the reality is, holidays are hard for single ladies. Especially, romantic ones. We loves us some Hallmark movies, driving around looking at Christmas lights, and all things coffee dates & snuggling on the couch on snow days. (Even if some of us haven’t even done those things yet – that’s beside the point.) It’s just the way we are built. So don’t at all feel bad about wanting it. And you don’t have to give up on it either. And lawd have mercy, please don’t be the one who thinks “they’ll never have it.” You will, girl – so stop. But in all of the wanting, don’t forget, you don’t need it. God says He will meet “all of our needs.” (Phil. 4:19) So if you needed it, you would have it. But you don’t, so grab some girls – and enjoy the 12 Days of Christmas countdown on Hallmark until then.
2. Use that Extra (Temporarily Unused) Shopping Money to Help Someone
This one may sound random, and out-of-place because this blog is supposed to be about us, right? But it’s not. Helping others is the quickest way to change your perspective from what you lack to what you have. Choose a charity, like Angel Tree Prison Ministry, or donate canned food cans, or serve Thanksgiving meal, etc. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself, and someone else – oh, and hide all the mistletoe at every Christmas aisle you frequent.
3. Bake Till You Drop
They say that when you have someone – especially a man – they like to eat. It’s just what I’ve heard. I bet if you spent some time specializing in a few dishes; by the time Mr. Wonderful does get here, you’ll be able to whip up something real nice that you won’t ever have to spend another holiday season hiding the mistletoe – because, you’ll be looking for it.
4. Don’t Take for Granted the Family Time
A few of my best friends have been doing holidays at in-laws for a couple years now. And the first time they do it – and have to either miss Thanksgiving or Christmas with their own families – it’s hard. So don’t take it for granted. Play those card games, sit at the kid’s table (
while you can still get away with it), and don’t miss learning those special recipes for #3 up there from your mom. Those are times you won’t ever get back – so take em all in, and oh – do the dishes, too – one day you’ll want your son/daughter to do them for you.
5. Deck Your Halls
Don’t wait to decorate your “home” once you “get married.” Do it now. Tis the season to be festive – so garland your staircase, light up your tree, hey – invite some friends over for a tree trimming party. I once read a story in a book about a 29 year old woman who LOVED Christmas. She would decorate like crazy every year, and many would ask her why. I’ll never forget the answer she said, “Why wait to celebrate then, for what I love – now?” It’s true. That story ended rather tragically and her life ended much shorter than anyone’s should – but her lesson carried on to the author, then to me, and now hopefully, to you. So, deck your halls – and light that tree.
6. All About The Children
Though many will attest to my not-so-huge on the whole kids department attitude, (I will one day with mine – just it’s not my thing…don’t hate) kids really can and do make any holiday brighter. They give you a reason to see that the toy you think is fabulous – really isn’t as cool as the imaginable castle the box it comes in can build. So, if you have friends that have kids – spoil them. Or, if you’re lucky enough to be an aunt to some – go at it. Your friends and/or your siblings will love you all the more for it. And you know what, maybe when you have your kids – your single friends then can continue that loving, and selfless tradition (and save you some money – hey, just looking out for a sister.)
7. Don’t Miss the Christmas Party
So yes, this one is a big one. And honestly, last year I wouldn’t have even put this in this list, (
or wrote this list for that matter.) But I digress, Christmas parties are not meant for you to be the Grinch because you don’t have Martha May (you get what I mean – don’t inbox me); they’re meant for you to have fun, to enjoy the season of giving and friends and family. So don’t miss the party, ask a guy friend. And if you don’t have one – bring a girlfriend. We do it for weddings, why not Christmas parties?
8. Holly, Jolly, Friendships
It really is true. Friendships come and go. They change each and every season (no pun intended). Some friends that are single now, could be married and moved out of state next year. Embrace the time you have with them. Do all the things you think you “only” can do with Mr. Wonderful. Grab the friend with the biggest car, pile them in, and go look at Christmas lights. Then enjoy some hot chocolate (with marshmallows – duh) by a fireplace (or fake one on a screen), turn on Hallmark, and each of you plan your future decorated homes on a secret Pinterest board together. But that’s the key – do it together.
9. Master the Art of Wrapping
The title should speak for itself – but in case you need reminding. Christmas entails gifts. And more gifts. And gifts. And I don’t know about you, but I loved wrapped gifts a heck of a lot more than bags. I mean even the sound of bagged gifts and wrapped gifts is no comparison. My goal this year is to wrap a whole lot more than I bag. Yeah, that is just asking for some sarcastic comment to follow – but I’ll leave it at that, wrap yo gifts, ladies!
10. Watch Elf & Don’t Drink Eggnog
11. Jesus Really IS The Reason For The Season
Read the story. Luke 2:1-20. He was foretold long before – and then, just like that, God broke through and brought Heaven down to Earth to give us the Savior of the world. It really is a miraculous story. I think we sometimes – as we get older – forget the beauty, the awe and wonder, and simply – the joy of Jesus in Christmas. We are so busy running from one to do item to the next that we miss it. Not on purpose – because yeah, some of our Church’s do an Advent series – but do you? After you accomplish #5, sit down, read the story of how Jesus came to be – do as Jesus said, become like a child, and let the joy and wonder of Christmas inspire you all over again.
12. Don’t Waste It
Each of us has zero clue what tomorrow holds. And as much as I can beat around the Christmas tree (you like that?) on this subject, I won’t. Your singleness does not inhabit your ability to celebrate. Your singleness should not cause you to miss out on something worth enjoying. Don’t sulk in what you don’t have yet, but yet – take the extra time you do have and make memories with those you have in your life today. And those who come tomorrow, well – they will get you tomorrow. If I should go home to see Jesus before I get married, the last thing I want is to stand in front of Jesus – on His birthday – and say, I never celebrated it down there because I was waiting on Mr. Wonderful. Yeah, that should go over well. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years – they are all beautiful and special times with family and friends that should be embraced, not wasted. So don’t.
And there you have it, 12 Essentials for us, the single ladies of the 2014 holiday season – and maybe the ones to come. But who cares. Yes, we love romance. But you know what I love even more – life. And I never want to live mine less, because I think I need more. So this holiday season, whatever you want to do – YOU DO IT! Don’t wait – sing every Christmas carol within ear shot, help feed those who can’t provide for their families, watch Cowboys football on Thanksgiving, and most importantly – hold onto those you love – because many are experiencing holidays without those they love dear for the first time.
So, may these essential tips help you to remember to love well, hide the mistletoe, and just enjoy every single part of yours and your, holiday season.