Where’s My Place, God?

“Today I know that such memories are the key not to the past, but to the future. I know that the experiences of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work He will give us to do. ”

Corrie ten Boom

Maybe you’ve been here – where one day your life looks one way, and within a 24 or 48 hour span – your life has completely taken a turn that you never saw coming. Yep, that is where I am.

I love Corrie ten Boom. She was a fierce, humble, anointed, and made such an impact in the Kingdom. She endured so much, and still – used what she endured to bring so much wisdom to us all. She could have been bitter and resentful because of her suffering, but no, she chose to let God use it.

dont-give-up-21

So, this is me, doing what I can to let God use what He has given me. My past has had it’s mix of hurt and pain – but also full of such redemption and restoration. It has been a life of unforeseen tragedy, only met to collide with undeserved grace. It has shown to be full of overcoming mistakes made by me, while also the effects of mistakes made by others. But in all of it, God’s grace has been greater still.

Tonight, I sit here thanking God that I have lived such a full life. A life full of seeing Him come through. Being without leads you to see who truly is your provider. It leads you to see the priorities in life much clearer when you are looking through a “needs” base lens of perspective, instead of necessarily a “wants” based. When you’re praying for bills to be paid and not necessarily for the next purse in your collection – life just seems to show you that what really matter isn’t the what – but the why and how. Why do it all, why keep going, why hold on, why encourage, why keep trusting. And how will my attitude affect others, how will this make a difference for the Kingdom, how can I be used to my fullest.

But the what, how, and why are not what this blog is about, it’s the where. Where is my place? The last few years I have gone into (most) decisions in my life asking, where can I make the most difference for His glory. But this time, I’m adding something to that prayer – where will it be for my good, as well. Because now I know, If I’m pursuing His glory – He’s pursuing my good.

So, I enter into this week beginning a whole new adventure. I have no idea where I will end up. I have no idea why it has taken this long or how I even got to this point in my life – but all I can do now is push towards not even the why or how, those can’t be changed, but the where is next. The question now remains, for whatever opportunity may come, God is where I’m at, where YOU see me?” A question maybe you can relate to – and one, I think, many of us will have to ask continually for the rest of our lives. God, is this where you want me to live, to serve, to give, to work, to take my kids, to make my church home, to go on this mission trip, etc. As I was writing this, God gave me a picture of what this might have been like for Abraham…

“The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.

“I will make you into a great nation,
    and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
    and you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you,
    and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
    will be blessed through you.”

So Abram went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Harran. He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Harran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there.” Genesis 12:1-5

Abraham left his family, friends, church, and home all because – God told him to. Why do this? Because God said He “will.” That’s it. That was enough for Abraham. I am amazed at this, Abraham was 75 years old, with a wife, community, and home in place – why trust that where God would take him would be better than where he left? He didn’t have a bible to show Him how God had done this time and time again – no, Abraham just trusted that the God who had promised, would be faithful. And He was.

This blog is meant to serve as a a reminder for me, but also, a proclamation for my future. One day, I’ll have kids. And though I have fallen, I have made mistakes – I want them to know, that no matter how many times you fall – His ways are so much greater than ours and His grace goes further still. And, that even when we don’t feel we have a “where” to go in the present, He has already gone before us to provide the “where” for our future. It might not be our final stop, it might just be the next one – but God promises us that He knows the way, even if we don’t understand it. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.” Isaiah 55:8

As I write this I am energized, I am hopeful, I am reminded of the truth that sets us all free. I hear my sweet Savior encouraging me to believe in myself once again, to keep going, to stay the course, and to remain steadfast – and I pray you hear that sweet same whisper. Because you know what, I know the same God who called Abraham, calls you and me. That He who promised to “show him the way” – will show you and me the way to our “where” as well. 

Here’s to the experiences that are meant to be the mysterious plans, the wheres we are yet to go, and the hope that we will take note and go to our where just as Abram did,  just as the Lord told him…

xoxo

jess

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