The “C” Word

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

It came suddenly, but yet it was in the back of our minds. When my mom started having health issues in her breast. I left for San Francisco, and because my mother is, my mother, she didn’t tell me until I returned. She wanted me to have a good time – not to worry,” as she always says. But then she had to.

photo 2But it’s good news. It’s early stages,” she says. “The doctors say that if you could pray for a diagnosis better than not getting it at all, it would be this one.” She chuckles hoping these words would bring some kind of comfort, but instead, inwardly, were followed by countless questions. “God, why this too?” “Haven’t we suffered enough?” “God, really – where are you in this?” And this is exactly what the Enemy does. He brings questions to confuse the truth. The truth that I already know – that the God I serve is bigger than cancer. That the God that formed me in my mother’s womb goes before me, heals behind me, and stands with me. But for a few moments, these questions probed fear, doubt and worry to rise within me – leaving behind the faith, hope, and trust that I have put in my Heavenly Father for almost 20 years.

And a few minutes later I was home. And as I sat with my Heavenly Daddy. And I asked for His help. His healing powers. His redeeming Word to wash away the worry and anxiety and replace it with peace and hope and grace. I ask Him for all the things I realized I couldn’t control – and even more swiftly than that, I learned a lesson I believe He’s been wanting to teach me for a while..

I’ve never had control.

You see, when you are a doer, an achiever, and a continuous ball of motion like myself (many of you can relate) you think you are Wonder Woman most of the time. You think because you go, that you are the One who does. But in a matter of a month the Lord has quickly shown me – in multiple events – that though He sends me, He is the only one who is actually doing the work. Yes, I step – but He sends. I release my will, but He puts it in motion. I submit – but He changes things. I pray – but He is the only one can comfort, provide, transform, redeem, and heal.

We are conduits (a channel) of motion. Conduits of love, conduits of power, and conduits of healing. photo 5

So why do I share this? Why now? Well tomorrow my mom goes into to find out the diagnosis. And, also tomorrow, I will fly to Chicago for a business trip. And so like God, when I want to be so close to fix – He pulls me away to draw out my dependence on Him even more. This appointment will conclude with answers to the questions we’ve had since the tests were run a month ago. The question of “What next?” will finally be answered – we hope. And you know what? I wasn’t going to share any of this until those results came. And then it hit me – why wait for a worldly answer before proclaiming a heavenly declaration? So I’m not waiting – I just won’t. I’m declaring she is healed in Jesus most precious and powerful name. My God is greater – and My God is faithful. He is good and all He does is good. And though I hear questions – God’s truth and God’s answers are the only ones I pray to focus on. Because, guess what? Satan doesn’t win. He didn’t 2000 years ago, he doesn’t today, and he won’t tomorrow. No matter the diagnosis of this world – whether Ebola, tsunamis, hurricanes, shootings, terrorism, or breast cancer – he doesn’t win.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

photo 1So I write this to share my heart, my testimony, and my declaration. I write this for my Mom, for every other person sitting in my seat or my mom’s. The seat where fear is crouching at your doorstep, but Jesus – yes Jesus – He is graciously sitting in the chair, with you on His lap, rubbing your back – just as my mom did for so many years.

I will have more of those moments with my mom – I declare it in Jesus name. Though the “C” word may bring fear, the Great I AM brings hope, truth, peace, and faith. So I will have faith, I will hold on, and I will choose to believe – He who is in me, is greater than he who is in the world. And that even covers cancer. (1 John 4:4)

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2 thoughts on “The “C” Word

  1. Jessica, you are so spiritually wise to be so young. Some people never learn that it isn’t them who is in control and they accept worldly words, instead of listening to God. And that the devil is always there to steal, kill and destroy. I love your mom and you, and you hold her tight and hug her for me. Moms aren’t around forever so love her with all you got, girl. Spend quality time with her, pray for her and with her. Laugh, play games, take her to dinner. Tell her your dreams and what’s in your heart. All knowing that God’s got this! Thanks for sharing!

    1. Thank you SO much for this, Lorinda. I know my mom cherishes your friendship. Thank you for the wise advise – as I have realized all too often how short life can be. Consistently praying for you and hoping that you know God is for you – and I think of this scripture when I pray for you: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” 2 Corinthians 4:16 —- Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. God Bless!

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