Dear First Rounder,
For the next two minutes, just let go of anything you have been told, or have told yourself.
Life never turns out how you think it will. Growing up in Big Spring I never thought I would move to Dallas on my own – or even more than that – New York City. I never thought my heart would yearn for marriage again, I never thought I would be able to lose and love so quickly and yet, still find a way to love again. What I did think was that I’d be on my way to owning a company or traveling the world, and maybe married with a kid or two. But the fact is I’m closer to being apart of the remake of 27 Dresses than I am to marriage, and maybe closer to owning a car than a company. Does this mean I am ‘behind?’ Does this mean since I didn’t graduate college with a MRS. degree that I have somehow missed the mark in my womanhood? That turning 25 single, still searching for a place in a career, and still adding friendships to my ‘future’ imaginary bridesmaid list was somehow SO different than everyone else? No.
Do you remember the game, MASH? The game that you have 4 options in each category and you always chose at least one sucky one and three really really over-achieving ones? Yeah, well that is kinda what happens when you continue to play MASH in your twenties. No matter how many times you try to plan and re-plan the game, you always end up with that 4th option. There is a reason for this, and it took me years of re-playing MASH for me to get it.
Our lives were destined for greatness – and being human – we can’t see past this moment. Greatness can’t be achieved with that limited of a lens. Think of space, would we know how great, huge, and majestic space is without the lens of NASA? No, we wouldn’t. Greatness can only be achieved when you let go of your own lens to grab hold of that greater lens that never comes from yourself. It seems simple – but yet, as men and women in a generation where life seems to produce ‘microwave mindsets,’ its harder and harder to let go of our own lens. We somehow think if we let go of our lens, we will end up with no vision. “Letting go of your lens doesn’t mean you lose your vision, it means you gain perspective.”
I write all of this, because if you have gotten this far, you can relate. You can relate to the constant fear of family gatherings, engagement notifications on Facebook, or pregnancy announcements. Don’t get me wrong (all my friends who are wives, husbands, fiances, or mummy’s and daddy’s), nothing tickles my fancy more than love and happiness. I LOVE seeing all the people I grew up with and played the very game I reference in this blog with, get to live out their happily ever after. But if I did a survey, I would almost guess each and every one of them would tell you the same thing – their happily ever after looks nothing like they thought it would.
So, fellow friends, stop playing the game. Stop thinking, and start living. Stop trying to make up for time you feel you have somehow lost by some made up biological clock attached to a Buzzfeed article that somehow proves the point of your Great Aunt or best friend. The fact is, you’re not behind, you’re right on track. Keep going, don’t stop – don’t look back, and remember, life is just that, life. Everyone has one, and everyone of us have a different one.
Live your life, gain a new perspective, and let what seems to push you to rush, be what pushes you to take each day and be grateful for what you have now.
You’re not behind, you’re MASH is just in the first round.
Happy First Round!