“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” -Mark 1:34-36
Have you ever just sat in the middle of a room, with the lights off – nothing but you, the silence, and the Spirit. Yeah, not very often. I can count it on one hand how many times I have done this. God knows that I am not a morning person, He also knows that leading me into a season of silence will be one of the hardest seasons of my life. I talk, I go, I run; I do anything that keeps me moving. That is easy for me; sitting, waiting, listening – now that is hard. I am a doer by nature – but spiritually, God is calling me to sit.
Another issue with this, is the only person He wants me sitting with, is Him. What does this mean? I don’t need friends to affirm me in this season? No, but it does mean that He has given me all I need up to this point to let go, and sit.
The act of taking your hands off of something you have a grip of. But, did I really ever have a grip of these things? No. Some of them God gave me the ability to hold onto until I got to a certain point – but now, now I am fully aware of the little control I do have.
Give Up Control.
Yes, when you are sitting, you don’t have much strength to lift and do all the things you ‘think’ will break down without you controlling them – relationships, family, finances, future. All of these circling around in my head, constantly shouting “you will never be able to carry all of these things” And the fact is, they are right. But the intention of those thoughts is not to lift me up – but to tear me down.
Taking Thoughts Captive.
Learning to let go and give up control with make our minds soar with ‘what ifs‘ and ‘how is this going to work‘ – that is when understanding that your thoughts speak what your heart truly believes. We take thoughts captive when we replace a lie with truth.
“I can’t do all of it – but God, I know you can.”
“I can’t see how this will all work – but God, I know you are for my good and you love your daughter, so I trust in you.”
Who am I trusting in this season? The desire of my heart is to do all of these things and hand it all over to God in a pretty package – but that isn’t life. Life is hard, it rough, its a journey, a soul-searching marathon of love, loss, destiny, forgiveness, hope, joy, and pain. It takes time, and it takes stopping every once in a while to see where you are, and what you are or not giving over to the Lord.
So today, in the midst of this crazy journey called life – God has called me to stop; to be silent, to sit at His feet. For God to take control of the wheel – I have to stop the car and switch places with Him. He can’t take the wheel if the car never stops. So, I’m pulling over, God. I surrender – it all. Though I am in the season of silence, my God is not silent. He is forever affirming me and assuring me that He will never leave me nor forsake me – that all of these season are working together for my good. So, I sit, I let go, I give up control, I believe in the truth, and I trust in Him. Here I am Lord, on the side of the road – in the dark, in the silence – trusting in you.