Breaks My Heart…

Today, a friend of mine who I love deeply, shared a story on Facebook about China. This is a couple lines from that article

Title: China Admits to the Greatest Slaughter in Human History

Story: The Chinese government recently admitted that over the last four decades the country has aborted 336 million unborn children, many of them forcibly.

This breaks my heart for two very personal reasons:

First, I am a woman. You may think, well that is not very personal – oh but it is.


I was created as a woman. God designed me in my mothers womb (Psalm 139:13) and knew that I would be sitting here right now writing this. He designed me to desire certain things like coffee, warm weather, and country music. He desired me to yearn for more important things – like being a wife and a mother.

This is why it breaks my heart…I desire to be a mother. 

Second, there are millions (estimated) of women who cannot have children or have lost them because of countless reasons. This is not how God intended it to be – but God will always make beauty from these ashes of unborn legacies. This personal reason runs dear to my heart because one of my very best friends is in this category. There is an angel in heaven with their last name – one we missed the pleasure of meeting this side of heaven – but one we will surely meet one day.

This is why it breaks my heart…so many desire to be a mother. 

This blog isn’t about condemning China, because it is not my job to judge, nor is it about the tragedy of the 336 million children lost, but most certainly found in the arms of Christ Jesus. This blog is about the prayer for my heart to break for what breaks His.

My heart breaks when I think about the babies that will never be born because of a ‘law’ that was passed or a momentary lapse in judgement or fear.

My heart breaks for the mothers who were forced to give up part of who they are.

My heart breaks for the countless women who have not been able to experience the birth of a child though they desired just that.

My heart breaks for my friend, my sweet Godly woman of a friend and her husband who lost a part of their growing family.


Do you notice in the bible how so many verses start off that way, but then transfer with a huge and thankfully present, BUT. This is my but…

BUT because of Christs’ love and sacrifice we no longer live under a law, though the world still may follow some.

BUT because of Christs’ love those mothers that had or did give up their child have the option to find grace in the midst of salvation and true healing from our ultimate Healer.

BUT because of Christs’ love the mothers that have not had the ability to birth a child can find their heart made whole in the light of His wonderful face. (2 Corinthians 3:18)

BUT because of Christs’ love the mothers and fathers who have lost a precious soul unwillingly can find comfort in knowing that they will one day meet the member of their family they never got to experience life with this side of heaven.

My heart breaks, but it mends and is beautifully woven back together with the reminder of grace, joy, and that this is not our final destination. One day we will see all 336 million of those children in heaven and I will get to meet my dear friends son or daughter – until then we cling to the BUT and praise God for the gifts that we do have. 

Pray for our country. Pray for China. Pray for those mothers and the mothers you may never meet. Pray for your heart to break for what breaks His. These are my prayers.


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